we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
