fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
