I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
