Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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