Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
