her vagine was all disorganized.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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