My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
