Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
