Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
