The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
