omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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