is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize