Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
