No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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