She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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