I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize