well you can't waste a boner
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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