Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize