I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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