I need help removing her.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
