4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize