My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
