"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I need water and some morals
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
