It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
