stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
