yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
