I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
