Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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