just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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