Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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