did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i think i just lost a toe
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
