how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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