Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
