oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
