He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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