Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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