I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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