One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
