i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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