i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
