we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can't trust your balls anymore.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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