Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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