I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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