i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Your cock deserves a montage
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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