Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
