Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...

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  (250): note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex... http://tfl.nu/vx0w
  Replies (51) Good night (814) Bad night (5654)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date

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  (413): He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date http://tfl.nu/21qw
  Replies (58) Good night (1257) Bad night (5751)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again

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  (662): you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again http://tfl.nu/srv7
  Replies (21) Good night (6504) Bad night (763)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.

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  (519): Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical. http://tfl.nu/sqyk
  Replies (12) Good night (6682) Bad night (1966)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.

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  (315): I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite. http://tfl.nu/f93w
  Replies (8) Good night (4309) Bad night (795)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.

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  (717): Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester. http://tfl.nu/ljr5
  Replies (10) Good night (3297) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.

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  (402): I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story. http://tfl.nu/wp0p
  Replies (11) Good night (740) Bad night (1904)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha

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  (203): I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha http://tfl.nu/gfdl
  Replies (5) Good night (683) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow.

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  (570): Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand? (1-570): Wow. http://tfl.nu/2i6h
  Replies (0) Good night (550) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.

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  (347): Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm. http://tfl.nu/3ccq
  Replies (0) Good night (583) Bad night (365)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?

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  (262): Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore? http://tfl.nu/hk51
  Replies (2) Good night (479) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.

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  (310): See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight. http://tfl.nu/dy9g
  Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.

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  (601): My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service. (1-601): Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar. http://tfl.nu/yh0y
  Replies (1) Good night (978) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.

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  (319): Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero. http://tfl.nu/gstb
  Replies (3) Good night (991) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever

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  (775): he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever http://tfl.nu/oimy
  Replies (4) Good night (261) Bad night (794)

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