We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.