Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.

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  (502): I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off. http://tfl.nu/n96o
  Replies (30) Good night (5040) Bad night (1386)
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  (650): View more from California

  im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.

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  (650): im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for. http://tfl.nu/gyhj
  Replies (13) Good night (4308) Bad night (779)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.

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  (765): She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it. http://tfl.nu/h4q6
  Replies (22) Good night (6172) Bad night (1093)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.

  (518): View more from New York

  I am in love with you.

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  (203): Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think. (518): I am in love with you. http://tfl.nu/yy5e
  Replies (5) Good night (5173) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.

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  (262): I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick. http://tfl.nu/emch
  Replies (6) Good night (4231) Bad night (1489)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.

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  (206): I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick. http://tfl.nu/yyxj
  Replies (8) Good night (1239) Bad night (3943)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY

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  (360): Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY http://tfl.nu/mbk8
  Replies (12) Good night (1947) Bad night (1060)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.

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  (901): He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless. http://tfl.nu/gg4g
  Replies (5) Good night (3775) Bad night (715)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.

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  (615): We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers. http://tfl.nu/6a3z
  Replies (6) Good night (2137) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.

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  (832): Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage. http://tfl.nu/2oqv
  Replies (1) Good night (2170) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.

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  (615): We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably. http://tfl.nu/c0bc
  Replies (3) Good night (1855) Bad night (501)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me

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  (973): An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me http://tfl.nu/o6hs
  Replies (7) Good night (748) Bad night (380)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too

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  (731): Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too http://tfl.nu/4c0u
  Replies (8) Good night (1198) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.

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  (218): If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/s3qv
  Replies (0) Good night (501) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.

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  (602): WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL. http://tfl.nu/p33r
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (186)

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