Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.

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(208): View more from Idaho

just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.

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(314): View more from Missouri

shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.

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(916): View more from California

on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.

(1-916): View more from California

your optimism is becoming unhealthy

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"

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(303): View more from Colorado

I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.

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(541): View more from Oregon

bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code

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(302): View more from Delaware

If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.

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