yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come