Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny

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  (614): she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny http://tfl.nu/4cwi
  Replies (12) Good night (3102) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.

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  (985): i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not. http://tfl.nu/eg76
  Replies (54) Good night (3064) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then

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  (651): I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then http://tfl.nu/awn6
  Replies (9) Good night (679) Bad night (4350)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me

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  (443): I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me http://tfl.nu/rbbn
  Replies (21) Good night (975) Bad night (5126)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  why weren't you at the audition last night?

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  booty call before role call

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  (804): why weren't you at the audition last night? (1-804): booty call before role call http://tfl.nu/sna4
  Replies (17) Good night (5249) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  it's been a while because I don't count the hooker

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  (347): it's been a while because I don't count the hooker http://tfl.nu/ahgm
  Replies (10) Good night (861) Bad night (3190)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...

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  (717): so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody... http://tfl.nu/6y77
  Replies (1) Good night (3228) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.

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  (402): She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/qnwu
  Replies (4) Good night (2178) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.

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  (610): So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though. http://tfl.nu/xgce
  Replies (5) Good night (2408) Bad night (1485)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.

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  (615): Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls. http://tfl.nu/rbr1
  Replies (13) Good night (4033) Bad night (1636)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him

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  (610): Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him http://tfl.nu/y954
  Replies (2) Good night (1163) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.

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  (847): I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year. http://tfl.nu/4k22
  Replies (2) Good night (990) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance

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  (818): You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance http://tfl.nu/4g8g
  Replies (3) Good night (612) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.

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  (425): Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting. http://tfl.nu/at9f
  Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password

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  (505): the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password http://tfl.nu/hr8l
  Replies (6) Good night (230) Bad night (53)

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