Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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