He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
