i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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