OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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