i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Terrible idea I love it
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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