david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it's not cheating when I paid for it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
