3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
