brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
