I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
