if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
