i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
