Umm I'm too high to move.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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