I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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