is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
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He called his prostate his "boner button".
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
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But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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