I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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