I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
